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Joke of the Day

"[cops showing wife my body] ""Why is he 50m from where he got shot?"" ""Our best guess was he tried crawling home to clear his browser history"""

"Marijuana may cause paranoia but so does watching CNN."

"Real men don't cry...tears for real men are only unnecessary liquids in the body."

"Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot"

"Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly."

"Why did Medusa order pizza? Her boyfriend was stoned."

"Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it."

"What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house? ...it was repossessed!"

"If I had a dollar for every time Greece made a bad economical decision Their economy would still be failing."

"I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay."