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Joke of the Day

"Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly."

"Why couldn't the band director pick a piece in 4/4 time? It's too common"

"Girlfriend and I are visiting San Fran to finally see the Golden Gate in person. ""What are we going to do when we see it?"" she asks. ""We'll cross that bridge when we get there."""

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints!"

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing. Edit: ( )"

"I was really pissed at my boyfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered he's imaginary. So I'm good."

"ME: The Wizard told me to choose between a good memory and a big dick GIRL : Wow.. Which did you pick? ME: I can't remember."

"You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you."

"tifu by getting inside someone else's underwater vessel Whoops, wrong sub"

"What's the difference between Christianity and Judaism? Christians pay for their sins"