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Joke of the Day

"What's a Jedi's favourite programming language? JabbaScript"

"FRIEND: Wow you have bought A LOT of frozen food ME: I like to plan ahead FRIEND: But you haven't got a freezer ME: I'm a terrible planner"

"Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip."

"Don't believe people who say they are constipated. They're full of shit."

"Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet."

"How many Nazis did it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, despite crimes against humanity they were efficient people and had state of the art engineering."

"Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety medication? To prevent Hispanic attacks."

"I like my beer like I like my women... ...anything goes as long as I'm pounding it with a friend."

"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."

"Sex so good the peeping Tom made sandwiches."