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Joke of the Day

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you."

"Laughing Hands I never knew hands could laugh cause mine are cracking up."

"will you marry me? no, marry Christmas!"

"My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards."

"Police jokes are not funny So give it arrest"

"I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like ""Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."""

"i imagine my dog spends a lot of time thinking about how tall i am and how great it is to have a giant as a best friend who can reach treats"

"If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the entire country of Australia for 44 minutes."

"I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?"

"Did you here about the Jewish son who asked his father for $50? The father says - ""40 dollars, what do you need 30 dollars for?"""