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Joke of the Day

"I haven't been this confused about what's going on since The Cranberries yodeled that one song about zombies."

"My boss fired me because I didn't attend the meeting as I had to answer an important call. Apparently nature's call doesn't count as important to him"

"Did you hear Justin Timberlake is making a new song based on Oscar Pistorious? It's called Cry Me A Reeva"

"Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes? Cause' freedom RINGS!"

"Wife: I feel horrible; I look old, fat and completely unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment. Husband: Your eyesight and opinion is damn right."

"When you put the punchline in the title... How do you ruin a joke?"

"I beat up some eggs with an egg beater. They kept cracking yokes at me."

"Why doesn't the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex? Because he has Cottonballs"

"I have reliable inside information about Apple's next product. I will not be able to afford it."

"How do ghosts become friends? They bond over boos. I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. I am sorry."