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Joke of the Day

"What kind of bear likes the rain? A drizzley bear."

"I hate those unrealistic movies where women are friends."

"From what I hear about time spent with abortion doctor's they're really not all that bad Many patients have claimed it's really brought the kid out in them."

"Today I quit drinking for good now I only drink for evil"

"who has two thumbs and loves stupid bets?? not me i lost mine in a bet"

"Apple recently created a more child-friendly iTouch. It's called the iTouch-Kids."

"*licks stamp* hmmm tastes weird *mails letter* hmmm mailbox had wings *drives home on flying monkey* hmmm that wasn't a stamp"

"Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that."

"What is the name of your Russian coworker you see the next day? C. U. Tomorov"

"I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget."