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Joke of the Day

"There's no ""shame"" in ""glitter"", but there's shame and glitter on me."

"If Subway had put an extra piece of cheese on every sandwich without telling the customer, I wonder how many of those kids would've been able to outrun Jared."

"Why There is No Readhead in Hell ? God does not punish twice."

"What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed"

"""I felt a hair in my mouth but I pulled out a strand of colorful scarves. I knew then."" -David Copperfield's unauthorized bio I'm writing"

"What do you call a blond standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."

"HIPSTER BOOTY CALL... BEER Can I buy you an ironically lowbrow beer?"

"Fun Fact: If you lie down in an aisle at Walmart for a couple hours, they will tag you and put you in a clearance bin."

"What do you call Batman when he skips Church? Christian Bale."

"Ex girfriends are like refugees As long as they are far away, you dont care about them, but once they come closer you feel like shit"