37495

Joke of the Day

"I joined a 12 step program for people who talk too much. Its called OnAndOnAnon"

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"Have you been to Iran? I don't think you should go, I don't think they like joggers."

"Yo mama is so ugly She makes onions cry"

"So my friend and I were playing chess. I said ""why don't we make this interesting"" so we stopped playing. Credit - I can't remember which comedian I stole this off but i am sure reddit will know"

"I planted some flowers, but they never grew. Should have seen it coming. The package did warn that they were pansies."

"Waiter asked if I wanted the soup or salad Me: Yes, I'll take the super salad"

"How do you make someone Holy? You beat the hell out of them."

"What's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"Way to disappoint me, things that aren't cheese."