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Joke of the Day

"Why are children never the main characters in horror movies? Instead of gawking at the killer waiting to see what will they do with the bloody axe, kids will do the smart thing: Run."

Next Joke
 
"I wish I had never wished for that. ""Done. You're back to 2 wishes."""
"Women know that men are like linoleum . . . If they lay 'em right the first time, they can walk on them for years."
"""i before me, excepts after we.."" - gollum in elementary school"
"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket.... ...She then exclaims some arsehole has my pen"
"I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool."
"My urge to sing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away, a whim away, a whim away"
"Make mine a Sandusky. I think I'm going to make a signature drink after Jerry Sandusky - 10 year old Whiskey and tears"
"WHY WAS THE BROOM LATE FOR WORK? BECAUSE IT OVERSWEPT."
"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get in a car wreck, who survives? America."