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Joke of the Day

"How do you organize a space party? You planet, i'll leave now"

"Unexplainable things: 1) Stonehenge 2) ESP 3) How my car insurance company can magically lower my renewal cost when I threaten to leave them"

"I really hate picketing but I don't know how to show it! RIP Mitch"

"Why don't violists get stressed? Because they have nothing to fret about!"

"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."

"If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man what would you have? Organised grime (crime)."

"What do you call a girl with one leg. Eileen."

"If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber."

"How much of Canada has a person from Iqaluit seen? Nunavut."

"A politician set out to create the most jobs Crime creates lots of jobs - police, insurance, repairs, medical if its violent crime, lawyers... and so was born the criminal nature of politicians."