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Joke of the Day

"Everyone's talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying."

"Whats the difference between a bdsm slavegirl, and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it."

"I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it."

"I blame instagram for making these basic b*tches think that they're ""models"" in real life."

"What's the big deal? Gay people could always get married. Just not to each other."

"They tried me make to go to rehab and I said what is rehab hombre I speak Spanish *huffs a lot paint*"

"I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast It's mostly Sunni"

"What do you call a pig that took a plane? Swine flu!"

"I touch myself when I think of you Oh! Wait It's not what you're thinking, I mean I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you."

"Advice tip for people: 1 stick hand in glue 2 stick hand in feather 3 now you are like bird. Impress your friend."