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Joke of the Day

"QUESTION: What's the best way to get a youthful figure? ANSWER: Ask a woman her age."

"Canceling my subscription!! I'm tired of your issues."

"A surgeon accidentally removed a women cancerless breast.... Sounds like it was a mastec-to-my"

"Putting a selfie on the top of your Christmas tree... ...because you're such a f**king star!"

"What was the radioactive senior citizen's super power? Gramma Rays"

"What's the difference between an Irish guy dying in a play, and you getting laid? One's a tragic Mick..."

"how can you tell if someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you."

"They found a new cure for pedophiles: they turn them into dyslexics... #... so they go around looking for [Pop Tarts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism)."

"Bras come in sizes = AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, OMG, WTF."

"Hug your children. Hug your friends and family. Hug the cashier at Chipotle. Hug someone else's children. Hug the arresting officer."