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Joke of the Day

"[me adjusting paintball mask] it's too bad we aren't on the same team date: yeah"

"Jesus walks..... Jesus walks into a holiday inn, tosses three nails on the counter and asks, "" Can you put me up for the night?"""

"To hell with syncing the Titanic... I named my iPhone ""ass"" so I could back that ass up."

"I thought about attending an orgy... But if I wanted to disappoint many people at once, I could just post this joke on Reddit."

"Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!"

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. (oldie but goodie)"

"What do you call sex with a burrito? Getting chipotlaid."

"Damn girl, are you an octagon? Cause there's like 8 different sides to you."

"in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone"

"Concerning the absence of toilet paper, there should be complaint books laid out at publicly used places."