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Joke of the Day
"Please keep the Christ in Christmas, because HalloChristween would just be weird."
Next Joke
"I wish conversations were like user agreements where I could skip to the end and just agree."
"How to get a date with a Clinton supporter today... Baby, want a tissue?"
"When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever."
"Wife: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? Husband: Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money."
"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."
"Did you hear about the depressed man going on a cross country road trip? He's weeping the nation."
"I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize."
"Life is like a penis... Short, hard, and fat. It's the women that make it soft and easy."
"How do al-Qaeda like their toast? Bean-laden"