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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? Husband: Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money."

"I really like being a trophy husband. I just wish I wasn't a participation trophy."

"What do you plant ... What do you plant, to grow a really big plant that has nothing wrong with it? Dyslexic acorns. They grow into A-ok trees."

"How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, wait. That's a hardware problem. [source](http://nerdfighteria.info/video/54/Zrnd63DAH8o)"

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He doesn't want to get nailed to the Boards."

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."

"While getting ready to leave on trip, I was trying to get my wife to hurry up. She says ""Why are you rushin'?"" Too which I replied ""Because my grandpa is from Moscow."" Duh.."

"Did you know that your local graveyard doesn't allow anyone who lives where you are to be buried there.... ....As they need to be dead first"

"When I die... I want my body to be dressed in a Super Man costume and tossed out of a plane."

"Vagina jokes aren't funny... Period."