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Joke of the Day

"Arthur Miller underratedly sucked at naming characters. ""Biff""?? ""Happy""?? Dude, take five more minutes."

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"John Cena woke up from a coma John Cena: Where am I? Nurse: ICU John Cena: No you don't. Edit: double enter"
"[Different] Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart? Because he can Nazi the road."
"[on date] ME: I'll have a steak WAITER: How would u like that cooked? ME: Uhh with fire or some kind of heat? *rolls eyes at date*"
"[Sees girl watching Star Wars] ""Oh I love that movie, the way"" *starts to sweat* ""All those stars are at war with each other"""
"I only watch Storage Wars to see if they find my ex's body. Just kidding. I like the show. And she's buried in the woods."
"Who's gonna be the next queen of R&B? I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!"
"Why did the anvil hit the blacksmith instead? Because it was irony."
"How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb."
"Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn."