182024

Joke of the Day

"BATMAN: I am the guardian of the night SPIDERMAN: With great power comes great responsibility CATWOMAN: Guys, help, I'm stuck in a tree"

"How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? ""Please get out of the swimming pool."""

"Did you hear the Vikings traded Adrian Peterson? They traded him to the Minnesota Twins because the Twins needed a Switch Hitter."

"What is green and goes backwards at 1000 miles per hour/ (Snorts)"

"I bet no one's had as many concussions as the guy who invented nunchucks."

"If I watch a meteor shower Does it feel violated? (x-post shittyaskscience)"

"What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet!"

"Me: *Sweeping* Wife: Excuse me Me: *Slams broom on floor* YOU SHALL NOT PASS Wife: ... Me: That's from lord of Wife: MOVE! Me: *Moves*"

"If it wasn't for the gutter my mind would be homeless."

"What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl? He turns off his xbox."