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Joke of the Day
"I like my women how I like my coffee Black, bitter, preferably fair trade"
Next Joke
"[Me narrating a documentary on guerrilla warfare] And here's more footage of people, but I'm sure apes will be in this film any minute now.."
"*rolls out of bed* *rolls into other strategically placed bed* ""Nice."""
"What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox? If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail."
"""What is that, a banana? Aw, who gives a shit."" -Disinterested George"
"Life is a dick... It looks short, but it becomes longer when it gets hard."
"One of my favorite things about kids is that you only have to feed them once a week"
"What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Business kept falling off!"
"Which spice is the worst at keeping secrets? Only thyme will tell."
"Why is trigonometry so hard to talk about? You always end up going off onto tangents."