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Joke of the Day

"I'm behind 38 episodes of Game of Thrones. I'll just jump in the new season and piece it all together. Should be fine."

"""Whoa nice car"" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] ""What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"""

"What idiot called them acquaintances instead of bud lights"

"Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling ""The laptop's not a touch screen,"" at my kids."

"I dreamed that I discovered a new color, but it was just a pigment of my imagination. Original joke, yay!"

"Two fish are in a tank one fish looks at the other fish and says... How the fuck do we drive this thing dude?"

"Describing a female colleague to your GF, saying ""you know, the hot blond"" is conducive to sofa sleeping."

"Anyone else want to join my all Mexican tribute band? We are called Juan Direction."

"""Hey Adam, can you get me some water?"" ""Sure I can, while I'm up and at 'em!"""

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food? Hop suey!"