162021

Joke of the Day

"Anytime I see someone with dreadlocks i yell CONGRATS ON HAVING A DIRTY HEAD FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME"

"Sitting behind a couple in this theater that's making out. I'm gonna lean forward and whisper ""This is nice"" in a minute."

"They don't make microwaves the size of refrigerators because they know if you were high you'd try nuking your friends."

"Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit."

"If you trip over in public, a cool thing to do is break into a jog, leave the country, have plastic surgery and change your name."

"It's ironic how the Segway-driving chinese cameraman plowed into the fastest man alive... ...because he ran into a bolt."

"Why do blind people always laugh at jokes? Same as why they don't drive. They never see it comming."

"Stuck in a hug. It went 5 seconds too long & now we're too stubborn to let go. Whoever dies first loses THE HUG WAR."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!"

"What time is it when yo mama sits on a chair? Time to buy a new chair."