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Joke of the Day

"Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until Creepy Stan from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower."

"What do you call Kurt Russel playing an archaeologist? Kurt Fossil"

"""So how was your date?"" I talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much ""That wasn't a good idea"" Yeah well, hindsight is 1"

"My niece asked me what it's like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back."

"I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless"

"On Average, ovulating women prefer rugged & masculine men. Menstruating women prefer men duct-taped and on fire."

"What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm? Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron."

"Before I met my wife I was incomplete.. Now I'm finished."

"I'll never rob a store because I don't want to see the police guess my weight on a wanted poster."

"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest natural resources which must be preserved at all costs."