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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick down a girls throat"

"I listen to nothing more closely than the muffled conversation happening after someone has accidentally pocket dialed me."

"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself."

"Have you seen my digital boat? Oh wait, its syncing."

"I sold my vacuum cleaner on ebay........ It was just sat in the corner collecting dust....."

"What is the biggest plot twist in spanish soap operas? When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother"

"I tried to visit a new subreddit /r/god All I got was ""there doesn't seem to be anything here"". Check. Your move, religionists"

"Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat."

"Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone."

"I was just flipping through a pictorial of Betty White on one of those celebrity sites... And I realized it was Lindsey Lohan. True Story."