181555

Joke of the Day

"I've decided I'm not going to have kids. I love babies, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook."

"As I was looking at some apartments I saw a parking area with the sign,""Tenant Parking."" But what happens if there are more than ten ants?"

"I said to my wife's mother ""when you're dead, I'll dance in your grave."" she said: ""Good, I'm being buried at sea."""

"How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. She holds it still and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"Paranoids ""You can learn alot about paranoids, just by following them around."""

"Why should you never date someone with a lazy-eye...? Because you never know if they're seeing someone on the side."

"Roll, roll, roll your joint, Twist it at the end, Spark it up and take a puff, Then pass it to a friend."

"Why are Asians bad at golf? They don't know how to drive."

"Who makes more money - a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute- she can wash her crack and resell it."

"How do you get a date on Tinder? Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated."