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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues? An insecurity guard "

"A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled ""I'm taken,"" and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow."

"Being a man means doing what I want, when I want, and not having to answer to anyone. This is my...shit she's coming. To be continued."

"My Buddy Is So Mixed... He doesn't know who his step-dad is."

"A wizard walks into a gay bar and disappears with a poof."

"I could see every bottle of ketchup in the restaurant. Heinz sight is 20/20."

"What has five bodies and one soul? A Kia full of Gingers."

"if you have a favorite tetris block that isn't the 4x1 long piece, you're a fucking contrarian idiot asshole and i hate you"

"My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song."

"How do you catch a unique bird? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame bird? Tame way you caught the unique bird."