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Joke of the Day

"You have orgasms all the time. Even if you don't have sex, I know you masturbate. You're a liar if you say you don't. Sexy"

"why do ghosts like elevators? it lifts their spirits"

"I thought I was listening to a Maroon 5 song on the radio when I realized that the radio is off and I need to have my brakes changed."

"On Pedophile Opposite Day they go to army bases to have sex with Majors."

"What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton? You gotta be chitin me!"

"If you see a swarm of jellyfish, DO NOT enter the ocean. It's a no-brainer."

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've visited Chernobyl... it's 14"

"You guys hear that Atheists don't get taxed? Apparently they are a non-prophet organization"

"Under what circumstance is mass a unit of time? Church"

"Why did Batman go to the corner store? FOR JUST ICE"