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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst swear word to a tv exec? Godhole."

"a classics professor goes to a tailor... A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""

"NSFL NSFW It's a dead baby joke... NSFL NSFW What's worse than a dead baby in a microwave?... The guy masturbating just outside the microwave..."

"Why are most male politicians gay? They can only mandate."

"Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only suffered super fish oil injuries, but I'm lucky I wasn't krilled!"

"If you don't wear a body wallet to bed with all your cash in it, you aren't really raising teens."

"Knock Knock? Who is there? Willis. Willis who? Willis d**k fit in your mouth?"

"I Was Going To Write A Theater Piece On Puns.... ...but then I realized it would just be a play on words."

"I just got a text from a woman I know that said only ""we z"". Did she just ask me to sleep with her in three letters? Nicely done!"

"Every time I pinch a loaf; I think,""I don't knead this shit."""