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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a Twinkie pregnant? How to put it in a box of Ding Dongs."

"A new girlfriend asked me ""How did you manage to stay single for so long?"" Single Handedly"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. 1845 never forget."

"I throw my poop to birds to give them a taste of the parallel universe."

"Paris Hilton picked up the new Galaxy Note 7.... That's Hot."

"I'm going to sell John Lennon memorabilia online. Imagine all the PayPal."

"Did you hear about the narcissist who called himself Jesus Christ? He used the Lord's name in vain."

"What do you call a chicken with political ambition? Republic-hen"

"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die"

"Why don't women drink beer at the beach? Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz."