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Joke of the Day
"What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship? Carbon dating"
Next Joke
"I cut butter with a regular knife and now it won't stop crying like a little bitch."
"Have hope for the future, but maybe build a bomb shelter anyway."
"What is Rick Grimes' favorite thing under the sea? CORALL!"
"{At the art museum with my newborn son} baby: dada? Me: it's impressionist you stupid baby"
"What comes in pairs? seeds"
"There is a mathematical theory for good sex The heat of the meat is directly proportional to angle of the dangle given that the mass of the ass is constant."
"mean while, while you were ""Gaming "", i tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a shaman's arms"
"Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now."
"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet"