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Joke of the Day
"What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas? *Cancer!*"
Next Joke
"You dug the hole you're in... now stop whining and start climbing."
"A man and a boy are walking through a dark forest... The boy turns to the man and says ""Its dark, I'm scared."" The man replies with ""You're scared? I have to walk back through here on my own!"""
"I'm not real good about sharing my feelings unless I hate you."
"Did you hear Monica Lewinski is in town? I saw her going down on Clinton! (most towns/cities have a Clinton St.)"
"What' the bare minimum? One bear"
"If you push George W Bush into a vat of concrete. It would set a very bad president."
"Joined Match.com... And all I got was a lit cigarette"
"[Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is... Grease. Me: Grease is the word? Judge: Yes. Grease is the word that you heard."
"I'm still on my first marriage, and... Wait, that sounded very negative, as if I don't expect this marriage to last. My current wife hates it when I talk like that."