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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me she wants something that goes 0-200.... I told her to go step on the scale!"

"Can we make it a rule not to put anything after the punchline? Seriously, it ruins the joke every time without fail."

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."

"""Hands up, don't shoot!"" cried the protester ""Take what you want, just don't kill me"" whimpered the store manager, dropping his gun and ending the terse standoff."

"I visited the ghetto once... Didn't see much, i was in the luggage of a car blindfolded."

"no idea! I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have no idea!"

"What do you call a black guy who sells flowers? A florist."

"You know you screwed up with your blind girlfriend when she says ""We should see other people""."

"Dark humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old."

"What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons? Jose and Hose ""B."""