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Joke of the Day

"I lost all my fingers on one hand yesterday... ...but on the other hand, I'm okay."

"English is weird... but it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Yeah you red it rite."

"Me: can i play music Funeral director: that's not appropriate Me: nana would've wanted it Director: ok CD player: someBODY once told me"

"Q: What do kids like to eat in the playground? A: Recess Pieces."

"i look like i'm trying to get water out of my ears when i dance"

"Where will the Womens World Cup final be held? Kitchen Stadium"

"What's the difference between a cow and September 11? You stop milking a cow after 10 years."

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"""Why did you dry these grapes?"" ""No raisin"""

"Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off."