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Joke of the Day

"[Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] ""You doing legs today?"" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt."

"My coworker looked like a nun today I told her she should break the habit"

"Someone asked me why my name isn't on the cover of my book. I explained that it's a practice of humility. ""Ahh, so why then is your name on the title page?"" ""I'm not that humble!"""

"My grandfather had a stroke this week.. He saw a picture of my grandmother when she was younger and couldn't help himself."

"Why Don't Santa Claus and Misses Claus have children? Because Santa only comes once a year and when he does its down the chimney."

"I'm not into phone sex, the cord always gets stuck in my ass."

"I met the inventor of the trampoline. He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy."

"What goes into something hot hard and covered in plastic and comes out soft and wet A frozen pizza with its wrapper left on"

"What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? A Yoghurt's got culture!"

"The girl that just walked by gave my dog a double take like she thought she might've gone to high school with him."