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Joke of the Day

"My dad's TV volume is always set at ""screw the neighbors""."

"What do you say when your TV is floating in the night? ""Drop it, nigga."""

"What do you call a snake that has been knighted? Sir Pent..."

"I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren't allowed to talk about what they did at work all day."

"I don't think anyone would be surprised if Captain Morgan was arrested for Boating Under the Influence."

"*shows up at your work* ""Hi, it's me. From the internet."""

"""This surgical knife isn't sharp,"" ...Dr. Swiftie said bluntly."

"""Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!"" - people with stupid names"

"What do you call a Japanese Transvestite? Nip Tuck"

"I scream, you scream, this funeral just got more interesting."