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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, doctor, there's a hairless military strategist on my head! Ah yes, looks like male Patton baldness."

"Dad: Why are your nails painted two different colors? Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it?"

"My girlfriend said that my dick Has resting bitch face :("

"okay, i admit it. you're wrong."

"Sometimes I think I am a bad mother because I don't like wine."

"Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"Making good jokes about the clitoris is difficult: It's really sensitive."

"There's a Black man and a Hispanic man in a car who's driving? The cops."

"Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night."

"Life is not fair, but life is not fair for everyone. That makes life fair."