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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said that my dick Has resting bitch face :("

"Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best"

"WIFE: [walks in on me trying on Victoria's Secret] OMG ME: It's not what you think! [shows receipt] They were on sale WIFE: Oh thank God"

"This redditor is so N00b... He pondered for several hours as to why people in his comments thread kept calling his submission ""Overpowered"""

"I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag."

"What's the easiest way to perform an exorcism? You beat the hell out of them"

"How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries? He stepped down."

"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... the fatter you are, the shorter it lasts!"

"I was watching some strange porn the other night... ...it had a fat naked guy perched on the end of his bed, crying while he masterbated. Then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on."