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Joke of the Day

"Kim Jong-Il found alive He's running a hot dog cart in downtown Seoul. It turns out he just wanted a change of Korea."

"""Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"""

"I named my daughter Dagstorp after where she was conceived (Ikea sofa)"

"I just finished writing a Broadway musical about the dictionary. It's the ultimate play on words."

"When people say they want to give a voice to the voiceless I say like a ventriloquist?"

"What do you call a spinning potato? A ro-tater."

"I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke... But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp."

"Unlike many guys, I don't try to get into a lady's pants... ...mostly because they won't fit me, but also because they lack usable pockets. What's up with that aspect of fashion design, anyway?"

"I don't like to brag about my cat-like reflexes. That said, could someone please call for help? I got startled and am stuck in a tree."

"Did you hear about the janitor who lost his job at the sperm bank? [dirty] He was caught drinking on the job..."