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Joke of the Day
"Ironically Caps 'Lock' is a 'Key'."
Next Joke
"Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*"
"My clothes were traumatically stolen from me. But I've recovered."
"Dad Joke: What did Miley Cyrus' dancing instructor tell her to do? Hometwerk"
"What happens when you ditch a gf for another she will become bff with your new gf, and become lesbians"
"One minute without you feels like 60 seconds."
"ISIS I Saw I Shot. Then Iran. Cuz I'm a cowardly bitch."
"*Ubers to my parking spot at Costco*"
"Did you hear about the guy who repeated a joke on /r/jokes? He insisted it wasn't a riposte."
"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her."