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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder."

"I organized a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time."

"Robin: ""Please?"" Batman: ""No."" ""It's prom!"" ""You can't drive the Batmobile!"" Alfred: ""Can I? It's Bingo night."" Batman: *tosses keys*"

"Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?"

"If anyone ever tells you they've lost their voice, They're lying."

"What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common? The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside."

"What did the left tit say to the right tit? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts!"

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher."

"Latvian girl can count Latvian girl count to potato. Is valedictorian."