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Joke of the Day

"Odin is a king, Thor got his gender switched to a woman, Disney owns Marvel. So Thor is....A DISNEY PRINCESS KINDA!"

"Have you heard of the new successful therapy for ADHD/ADD patients? It's called Concentration camp therapy. (Sorry for untasteful reference)"

"How does Samuel L Jackson create fire with an orange? He uses Pulp Friction"

"Dear son, your art is getting you nowhere. Do something with your life. With love, Alois Hitler."

"When playing ""Got your nose,"" make sure the victim is willing to play. Also, that you're not at a urinal. Also, that it's their nose."

"*mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money Me: well this night took a SHARP turn *later* Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs"

"If a tree falls on a woman, does she make a sound? The real question you have to ask yourself, is what was that tree we doing in the kitchen."

"Aw, crap, I just ate a silica gel pack. Why didn't I take seriously the ""Do Not Eat"" warning on it? It just looked so effin' delicious."

"Why was the tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing."

"Eomer gets off of his horse and says, ""What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?"" A nearby horseman answers, ""Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"""