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Joke of the Day

"I got a handjob from a blind girl and she told me I had the biggest dick she'd ever felt. She was pulling my leg."

"My wife thinks I'm too drunk to take the goldfish for a walk, but I'll show her!"

"Jokes about female hygiene are totally inappropriate Period."

"Entropy.... Enjoy it while it lasts!"

"What's the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on..."

"My neighbors listen to awesome music whether they like it or not."

"What does a gentleman say to his friend at the gay bar? ""May I push your stool in for you?"""

"Like I know pizza is a thing that everyone likes and talks about liking but sometimes I take a bite and am overwhelmed by how perfect it is."

"Why is the United States always in political disarray? It's a nation without a litre."

"Why did the hummer cross the river? For the insurance money."