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Joke of the Day
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs They always take things literally"
Next Joke
"I peed so hard that a little laugh came out"
"we need a cold and annoying genius type, who should we cast? [Benedict Cumberbatch claws at the office window] hmmm who to cast? [he meows]"
"I just got back from the doctors.. And he said I should stop masturbating. I asked ""why?"" and he said ""because I'm trying to examine you""."
"If Donald Trump becomes president... Does that make orange the new black?"
"[introducing you to my family] ""this is my son Carson, my daughter Boatdaughter, & our dog Motorcyclepet"""
"Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting."
"What a man How do you respond to someone who says ""fuck you"" Answer: You fuck you"
"Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh doctor my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in say three or four weeks' time?"
"Hush Puppies I felt like getting some Hush Puppies, but wanted something a bit more intense, so I went to the biker bar and ordered some Shut the Fuck Up Puppies"