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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk home or take a dog?"

"Dating Women is like squaring Numbers If they're under 16, do it in your head"

"How can we be sure the government wasn't involved in the Kennedy assassination? Well he's dead, isn't he? (Adapted from Neil Gaiman's *American Gods*)"

"5yo: Dad! Dad! Wake up! Me: What? What's wrong? 5yo: You said last night you need to be up by 7.. Me: It's 4am! 5yo: I can't tell time.."

"What is dog x dog? Puppy dog."

"My girl said she need distance and time Still dont know what she's trying to calculate the velocity of..."

"The Pope has the bird flu. He got it from his cardinals."

"New York Sports"

"A friend of mine asked if I could give her the definition of a double entendre... so I gave it to her."

"You know what's messed up to find at the bottom of a jar of mayonnaise? A condom. haha"