180541

Joke of the Day

"train operator just yelled at someone to stop smoking and they said ""I'm vaping"" and the conductor said ""I don't care"" and everyone laughed"

Next Joke
 
"My wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter I don't know what shocked her the most; the fact I was having sex with our daughter or the abortion clinic gave me the fetus."
"Active voice: I loved your book Passive voice: Your book was loved Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you felt the need to write a book"
"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb One American to hire a Mexican to change the bulb and other 323.99 million to complain about outsiders stealing their jobs"
"What's green, has six legs, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table"
"My music teacher got electrocuted yesterday Unfortunately he was a great conductor."
"""Hey guys, I just lost at the Golden Globes!"" - Louis CK, brilliantly introducing himself tonight."
"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."
"Every time you make a typo... the errorists win"
"[end of long conversation] HER: let me give you my number ME: great! [forgot name] how do you spell your name? HER: ME: HER: k-i-m ME:"
Terms & Privacy