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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a very rude bird ? A mockingbird !"
Next Joke
"What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper? ""Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing."""
"Coffee... If you're British, it may not be your cup of tea."
"How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They just hold the lightbulb and cry until the universe spins around them."
"Election Day Drinking Game: Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop."
"Waiter: Hi! Our special today is macaroni or cheese! Me: Wait - did you say 'or' cheese? Waiter: *lifts shirt, reveals gun* Look, I'm a cop"
"One of the anchors on CBS Sports just referred to smoking weed as ""toking salad"" and from that alone I'll bet my life savings he's a dad"
"Great news for the Texas Rangers baseball players Now that Ron Washington is no longer the manager, they are putting coke back in the vending machines"
"Before twitter, celebrities used to sit dead for months and months completely unnoticed."
"Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work."