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Joke of the Day

"Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me."

"You know why i hate MCU Thanos? He takes such a long time to cum that he has to use a special fucking glove!! ( get it cuz it's taking him a really long time to get to earth )"

"Butts Do not like lies."

"""Mom! Mom! Hold this cockroach while I grab the lizard!"" --Things I honestly never imagined I'd hear as a parent"

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"Engineers are sexual intellectuals or in other words... Fucking know-it-alls"

"A clown held the door open for me the other day. I thought that was a kind jester."

"Why does the Earth love geologists? They really get it's rocks off"

"what did the ocean say to the other ocean ? nothing they just waved."

"My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel. I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome."