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Joke of the Day

"Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me."

"Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of tippex.. ...I woke this morning with a huge correction."

"My girlfriend said I didn't respect her freedom enough So I told her to stop rattling in her cage"

"[blind date] So,where you from? [eyes turn black] T h E S E v E n T H C i R C L e O F H e L L Oh nice. ever miss it? [cries blood] Y e s"

"Have you ever wanted to make a difference? WELL THEN GO TO A FUCKING MATH CLASS YOU FUCK"

"Want to hear a joke? Youtube's Copyright System"

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me ma'am without adding, ""You're making a scene"""

"currently imagining a redditor choking on an uncooked hotdog and trying to wheeze out ""epic fail"" before losing consciousness"

"What goes in hard and comes out soft and sticky? Gum."

"A bear and a bunny... Are shitting in the woods. The bear asks the bunny: ""Do you find that shit sticks to your fur?"" The bunny says, ""No, why?"" So the bear picks up the bunny and wipes his ass."