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Joke of the Day

"We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy regretting saying ""You too!"" to a waiter after he said ""Enjoy your meal."""

"What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing? That's not my stile."

"I'm so poor I'm taking a vacation on Google Street View this year."

"Sorry I used the word flaccid twice in your wedding toast."

"Getting caught I got caught jacking off at the store yesterday. But seriously, who pays for bug spray?"

"If you lost your needle in a haystack then I don't think you were responsible enough to have had a needle in the first place. Needle loser."

"Why don't quantum physicists have sex? When they find the position, they don't have the momentum. When they have the momentum, they can't find the position."

"You guys should read ""It's normal here"" a biography of a Chinese exchange student who was sexually assaulted. written by Quinton Chingme"

"A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and the bartender looks at them and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"(slightly dirty) What's the difference between a striptease artist and a trapeze artist A trapeze artist has a cunning stunt...."