155468

Joke of the Day

"Getting caught I got caught jacking off at the store yesterday. But seriously, who pays for bug spray?"

"actors kiss each other for like 7 seasons and don't fall in love but when someone holds the door for me i think about it for like 4 months"

"I haven't had anything to eat all year. It's 12:01 January 1st where I am"

"Apparently, saying I prefer the babysitter not have a gag reflex isn't as appropriate as it seemed when I wrote the ad."

"Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there."

"How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Slap a nipple on it."

"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition... ...and discovered that he'd gravely misunderstood the objective."

"Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath."

"What did the Jamaican Priest say to the Baker's rolls? You a cinnamon."

"What does Fozzie the Bear do when he can't find a ride? Walk-a Walk-a"