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Joke of the Day

"If you say a number loud enough its value increases. * 5 = 5 * 5! = 120"

"Why do they call it ""Lipstick?.... ... When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it?"

"What do the Iron Man suit and Sarah Palin have in common? They've both had a downy inside em."

"ME: fine, judge me. judge me for loving too much, for caring too much- JUDGE: you're on trial for murder ME: for murdering too much"

"Congratulations. You're 18. On a list of 20 people that I want to kill."

"How does Schrodinger apologise? Sorry not sorry"

"What did the spider say to the bee ? Your honey or your life !"

"I'm at an age where ""getting lucky"" only means I have the house to myself..."

"The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours."

"Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear? It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear"