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Joke of the Day

"Emailing teachers be like Me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar* Professor: ""sure"" -sent from my iPhone"

"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already had to tell her twice."

"{Stalker Diary} I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night."

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she"

"I bet that at some point in history a baby ate a dingo."

"What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise? The Captain's Log."

"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants. ^lol"

"I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building. It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode."

"Terminator doesn't google himself he uses Altavista baby."

"What was left after Pavarotti passed away? 20"