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Joke of the Day

"Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2. Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3. Commercial while watching a good show."

"NEW YORK STATE OF MIND Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed? A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."

"I love Brown people... but I fucking hate Muslims."

"Anal Sex is a lot like your first car You don't really want it but your step Dad gives it to you anyways."

"I'm good at 3 things: counting and ironic jokes and punchlines."

"What do you call an unsuccessful Jewish pirate? Les Goldman"

"Melania Trump says her husband is ""not Hitler."" That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands."

"Kanye and Kim Are having their 2nd baby That's the joke."

"Friend: I set a new personal record last week Me: Me too Friend: I took 2 minutes off my marathon time Me: I ate 12 tacos in one sitting."

"What do you call the foreskin on a gay guy..? Mud flaps"